tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74690691312214930642024-03-13T11:15:56.283-07:00The Diaries of a Jesus Loving MusicianKelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-13952826397994485102016-02-11T10:37:00.000-08:002016-02-11T10:37:42.596-08:00It's Been a Long, Long TimeLife got away with me. I haven't posted in this blog for two years. But something in my heart has desperately missed writing. It's like I desire to have a pen pal, or someone to just listen to my thoughts that may or may not be relevant to anything in this moment.<br />
I won't update you on everything only because it would take too long, but I will tell you that I am engaged now, and very quickly approaching the wedding date, and that last year I spent 9 months in Asia doing missions work.<br />
Now I am settling in, I currently don't have a job, but I am spending a lot of time on things that I've wanted to for so long. Some of those things include writing music, developing my musical skill and learning how to cook so my future husband doesn't starve ;)<br />
I've also had time to process the last four years of my life in a new way. A lot has happened... a lot of good and a lot of bad. Something God has been showing me is that somewhere along the way I became guarded towards people. I've put up walls around my heart, when it really should be a picket fence that has a gate that opens and closes when necessary. But instead, hurt caused me to build a brick wall with some people permanently in, and others completely blocked out. There is a problem with this though. You become so consumed with your own hurt and fears that you forget that there is a hurting world out that that needs someone to love them. Lately, I've been sorting through past hurts and fears and people in my past, trying to figure out just when I decided to shut the world out, and how to reverse it. Boundaries are necessary at times, but walls? No, I don't think that's a boundary. That's more like a permanent blockade. <br />
I've been hurt by people, who hasn't? Everyone has been hurt by someone, and some people have been hurt by many, many someones. The question is, how do we love hurting people without being hurt ourselves by them? How can we prevent the daggers from penetrating our hearts? Or how do we love, when we are hurt ourselves? <br />
I suppose by giving our hearts to the only one who can protect it. There is no fear in love. Quite honestly, I have much fear when I think of loving people the way God calls us to love. Laying our life down. Putting it all on the table. Being vulnerable. All things that have hurt me in the past. But it begs the question...who are we loving for? Are we loving simply because we want to give to others? Or are we loving because we need love in return? The latter is not love at all, but rather codependency. Sometimes we want to love others just to love others, but if the source of our love does not stem from God's love flowing into us, it is a selfish love, which is not love at all. <br />
Lord Jesus, teach us what it means to love the way You do, because our way is so flawed, so needy, so codependent, and so distorted. Your love is perfect, radical, sacrificial, and free from fear of rejection. Teach us how to love like that.<br />
"There is not fear in love, instead, complete/perfect love drives out fear" 1 John 4:18.Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-76165505611539436262014-06-14T17:27:00.000-07:002014-06-14T17:28:11.523-07:00Want the Fire of God? Be Careful What You Ask For...During my teen years I used to always pray for the fire of God in my life, for an all consuming passion to overtake me. The truth is that at the time, I didn't really know what I was asking for. Often times we think the fire of God is an emotional drive to evangelize, or a passion that is visible when you look into someone's eyes. This may be symptoms of someone who has been touched by the fire of God, but this is not what we are praying for. What exactly are we praying for, then, if not this? We are praying for a refiner's fire.<br />
"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the
Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have
men who will bring offerings in righteousness, and offerings of Judah and Jerusalem will be acceptable to the Lord as in days gone by, as in former years." Malachi 3:3-4.<br />
<span class="p">When we pray for that fire, we are praying for testing and refining that is painful, not just an emotional high. It is a transformation from the inside out. It takes time. It's not something that God just gives you. It takes time to develop righteousness and be refined. It's a stripping away of everything that you love more than God, which is a lot more than you think. It's not a tingling feeling, but a refiners fire that burns away every other lover but Jesus. It's a breaking away of the flesh. </span><br />
<span class="p">So do we know what we are asking for when we ask for the fire of God? God will give it, but it is a long, painful process, but oh so worth it! </span><br />
"So watch yourselves, that you do not forget the covenant of the LORD
your God which He made with you, and make for yourselves a graven image
in the form of anything against which the LORD your God has commanded
you. <span class="reftext"></span><span class="highl">For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God." Deuteronomy 4:23-24. </span><br />
<span class="highl">He is jealous for you, beloved. Pray for that fire. Pray for it every day. Know that the deeper relationship you will have with Jesus is worth the fire you will walk through. </span>Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-32707227741301956962014-06-09T19:10:00.001-07:002014-06-09T19:10:22.317-07:00Let's Just Do Life TogetherAs this summer starts to speed on, faster than I thought it would, I'm learning some interesting things about people and about God. I think I very often get stars in my eyes and I desire to do extraordinary things. But often the things that make the difference are in the mundane, and in the flow of life.<br />
When I was at Elim I was so busy all the time. I loved every minute of it and I loved the people that were around me. But very often I wished I had more time to invest in those friendships. I know that that was a season in my life. Sometimes life is busy and there's not too much you can do about it. But when I came home I was afraid that the lack of business would drive me crazy. Who would I hang out with? What could I do in my free time? How will I stay productive? All these questions raced through my mind, but I forget one important question: In what way can I do life well?<br />
You see, it's not about the big things you can do. It's about the little things. God has been showing me that it's so important to just live life with people; to share in their joy, their work, and their sorrow. As I've been home that's what I've been trying to do with my family. I live life with them. I try to help around the house as best I can, and I try to enjoy the time I have with them. Why? Because I know that very soon I'll be on the opposite side of the world and this will be hard for them, and for me if I didn't take the time to make those memories with them.<br />
I also am realizing God has put friends around me. Friends that I have had for so long that I forget how special they are sometimes. I've enjoyed living life with them too and doing spontaneous romps through the forest and crazy junior high-ish sleepovers. Once again it's those little moments that seem so simple and ordinary, but there is something extraordinary about them. They are little gifts from God to never be ignored. <br />
Living life together. This is something God is showing me He enjoys doing. Very often I go for a walk with God through my field. I remember this one time I sat on a hill and watched the sun go down. I didn't say much at all and I almost felt guilty. I mean, after all I was going on a walk with God and I had nothing to say. But it was then that I heard God say, "Kelsey, I enjoy just being with you. You don't need to say anything. We can just be together and enjoy each other. Sometimes silence is more beautiful than words." It was then that I realized I organize my time with God too much. Yes, I need to have time to study the Bible and to worship, but more than that, God just wants to live life with me. He doesn't desire a schedule, but a relationship. He enjoys it when I share the little details of my day with Him. He likes it when I tell Him everything He already knows. He wants me to tell Him about all that is concerning me and all that is exciting me. He desires to share my life with me. He wants to take a part in everything. I think I might just let Him.Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-8689041466695028762014-06-03T13:10:00.000-07:002014-06-03T13:10:52.663-07:00Books You Should Definitely Read!I just finished reading the Canadian West Series by Janette Oke, and it was so encouraging to me. I read the first book ages ago and always told myself that I would read the rest of the series, but I just never seemed to have the time. Since I've been home from college I've had a lot of free time, so I thought, why not! I should just read the whole series.<br />
I was in for a surprise. I thought that these were Christian romances. The first book is definitely that in a lot of ways, but as I got further along into the series, I realized this was actually a missionary story in a way.<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Mp3ljlpas1s/U44ptIgicDI/AAAAAAAAAHI/tSsQ29wsmRk/s1600/008.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Mp3ljlpas1s/U44ptIgicDI/AAAAAAAAAHI/tSsQ29wsmRk/s1600/008.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a>The series is about a girl and her husband, who is part of the West Mounted Police and he gets posted it different remote places to watch over the people. So the whole story is her traveling from place to place and learning how to adjust to different cultures. Then she starts sharing her faith with people, and it's amazing! Some times I forgot that this was a fiction, because her struggles just seemed so realistic. After living in a remote place she would then have to get used to society again. I was just realizing that this is the life of a missionary. Things are hard, and things don't always go the way you want, but God gives you the grace to love people and to be present where you are.<br />
Adjusting from place to place and learning to love different people I'm sure is a real struggle. I appreciate how these books are real about the struggles. Being someone who feels called to many places, I could relate with this story. Sometimes I'll be surrounded in a community of people, sometimes I won't be accepted and I'll be alone a lot, and other times I'll live in American society trying to remember how to eat my food with a fork and dress like a normal person -- not a mountain woman. I think these will all be very real experiences I will have, and these books portray this struggle.<br />
A quick side note: these books aren't all about the struggles, but there are joys and little humorous things that happen in the midst of all the rough times. I had a chuckle quite a few times! <br />
Two words: read them.<br />
Enjoy! <br />
<br />Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-2500742298184785492014-05-25T16:06:00.000-07:002014-05-25T16:06:37.682-07:00Fundraising in Full SwingI think I mentioned in previous posts that I am going to Asia as a missionary in August. What a stretching experience it's been since I started fundraising! I've never had to do it like this before. I don't mind sending out letters or speaking at churches, but because I need monthly support I go and meet with people one-on-one. I procrastinate so much in this! God puts these people on my heart to ask and I just don't want to ask them sometimes. They aren't the people I'd pick because I either haven't seen them in ages, or I know their financial situation isn't the best. The funny thing is, is as I meet with these people God always does something! One lady couldn't give money because she is unemployed, but she knit me a prayer shawl. Another person couldn't give but knew of someone else who could. God is just so creative in how He cares for me!<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PG5AuenN30k/U4Jxx7zRxtI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/qCW4BTRc42I/s1600/024.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PG5AuenN30k/U4Jxx7zRxtI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/qCW4BTRc42I/s1600/024.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a><br />
Do I like fundraising? No, I hate it! But I know God will provide everything I need in the time I need it. Right now I need to just keep plugging along, keep meeting with people, keep sending out letters, and just wait and pray. God's not going to send me somewhere and not back me up with support. I'll do my part, and He'll do His part. We are a team.<br />
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If you know me at all, you know that I can drastically change subjects, and that's what I'm going to do right now. The first few weeks home have been really rough. I graduated from Elim about a month ago, <br />
and the transition from Bible college to normal home life has been the strangest thing. I've gone from a lot of people everywhere, to much time alone, and brief times with family; chapel services four days a week, to one church service on Sunday; seeing my boyfriend everyday in person, to a skype call or phone call everyday (thank goodness for skype...I mean seriously!); sharing my room with an awesome roommate and best friend, to sharing my room with a giant teddy bear (whom I do adore) and maybe a few spiders if I'm lucky (that was sarcasm in case you didn't catch on); and finally having friends to hang out with almost anytime I want them, to searching for people my age.<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7Tq-E-sKWNM/U4JzABGPJtI/AAAAAAAAAG4/JFX9uLA2OrY/s1600/025.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7Tq-E-sKWNM/U4JzABGPJtI/AAAAAAAAAG4/JFX9uLA2OrY/s1600/025.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a><br />
It's been an adjustment from seeing all the negatives to seeing all the positives. I'm learning that the free time really is great! I've been cooking more (If you are wondering, those pictures are things my mom and I cooked together! An authentic Chinese dish and mango carrot cake. So good. I couldn't help but share the masterpiece!), playing music, and even gardening a little! My church is also starting some new outreaches and I've been able to get involved in that. New people are coming to my <br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-saIa8hnU2rU/U4Jy2IWILhI/AAAAAAAAAGg/wSDqaJGeOUo/s1600/023.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-saIa8hnU2rU/U4Jy2IWILhI/AAAAAAAAAGg/wSDqaJGeOUo/s1600/023.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a>church so I'm able to make new friends.<br />
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I also feel needed. When I was at Elim there were so many people who wanted to lead worship or had a heart for outreach. Here my church is so small that they need a lot of help. It's so amazing to realize I'm filling a role, no matter how small it is. I know I can be a help and that God has put me here for a reason. Even though I'm fundraising in order to be a missionary, it's amazing to know I can be a missionary right here. This is my training ground. This is where I'm called to right now. I'm not just in a waiting period. This is part of my journey and I don't want to miss out on anything lesson God could teach me this summer.<br />
<br />
Instead of thinking the grass is always greener on the other side, take time to water your grass. The measure you put into it will be the measure it comes back to you usually. God has put you where you are for a reason. Wishing you were in some other time or place is just wasting your time and God's time. You can make a difference where you are, you just need to step out. Never believe the lie of the enemy that says you can't make a difference where you are. You can if you rely on the grace of God. Be present. <br />
<br />
"God is preparing a place for me tomorrow so I can be present today." - Jason Upton.<br />
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Be present today, and see what God will do in your life. Never shrink back from serving. Discover the needs around you and meet them as best you can. Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-67904008103396814052014-05-01T18:04:00.001-07:002014-05-01T18:04:04.744-07:00When Christ Shares His Heart with Us... Today was a day that I could see the hand of God in a special way. I'm graduating on Saturday, so my roommate and I decided we needed a girl day. We will be away from each other for a long time, so this was much needed. It started out lovely. We drove, listened to music, looked at fun jewelry, got a green tea creamy drink (which was AMAZING!), and then we drove some more. The GPS randomly stopped working so we just started driving around. I didn't realize this, but my roommate was listening to God about where to turn and where to go. It may sound strange, but it was really happening. We ended up driving through this beautiful neighborhood, so beautiful that I wanted to live there.<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RUjxe-w3BiI/U2LZuSH2XWI/AAAAAAAAAGA/jiei3JbiaSc/s1600/015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RUjxe-w3BiI/U2LZuSH2XWI/AAAAAAAAAGA/jiei3JbiaSc/s1600/015.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a>After this we ended up at a Jewish Community Center. I'd never really been to a community center, so we went in. We came across two different art pieces. They both were menorahs, but each was marred and had barbed wire in the piece. It was in memory of the Holocaust. We went outside to a courtyard, and there on the wall was a list of names...people who lived in the area and how many loved ones they had lost in the Holocaust. There was one person who had lost ninety-four relatives...ninety-four. I can't even wrap my mind around such a huge number! My heart became heavy, and I suddenly realized we were there for a reason. I felt the heaviness of God's heart for His people, even now as they are hated by so many people. My roommate and I decided to pray. As we began to pray, I began to cry. These people whom God loves so much, are hated so much. They don't even know about Jesus, their Messiah, either. God longs to comfort them through His Son. As we were praying for them to know God, I was reminded of this verse: "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones
God's messengers! How often I have wanted to gather your children
together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you
wouldn't let me." Matthew 23:37. I suddenly realized that God gave me the privilege of knowing His heart. <span class="p">His heart was burdened for His people, and so my heart became burdened. I cried with my friend today in front of all those names of people who had been hurt deeply by others simply because they were Jewish. I was overwhelmed, not only because of the great pain that Jews have experienced over history and even today, but also because God trusted someone like me with the hurts and concerns of His heart. Who am I that He should confide in me? But today He did. </span><br />
<span class="p">As we sat and prayed there, suddenly my favorite Christmas song came to mind. It took on a whole new meaning as I sat before those names and sang, </span><br />
<span class="p">"O come, o come Emmanuel</span><br />
<span class="p"> And ransom captive Israel</span><br />
<span class="p">Who mourns in lowly exile here</span><br />
<span class="p">Until the Son of God appear.</span><br />
<span class="p">Rejoice! Rejoice!</span><br />
<span class="p">Emmanuel </span><br />
<span class="p">Shall come to thee o Israel." </span><br />
<span class="p">This beautiful Christmas song suddenly became a prayer for the Jewish people, that they may see the hope that is being offered to them and that they may see God's great, deep, wide, and unconditional love for them. </span><br />
<span class="p">Today I learned a lot. Don't forget to pray for Israel, Church. They are still God's chosen people!</span>Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-16647070206348204302014-03-13T19:46:00.000-07:002014-03-13T19:46:14.036-07:00Here I Go Again....Forgetting I Have a Blog. Well it's been quite awhile since I've written, and so much has happened. I'm not going to try to fill you in on all that has happened, but I will tell you about my life now as if you were a close friend to confide in.<br />
I'm not sure what to write about, since God has been teaching me so much, but I will do the best that I can. I recently sent some of the songs that I wrote in for a professional review. I received a very helpful review on them, and I have a new drive to better the songs that I write. I am taking all of their advice to heart and I'm beginning to improve my songwriting skills.<br />
I am excited, once again, about my music, when I was discouraged for so long. One thing I don't know is how this goes with the plan God has for me. I'm planning on going to Asia next fall for 9 months to do missionary work, then possibly start a family and perhaps make plans to go back on the missions field. How does my dream of recording line up with all of this? I know God has given me songs to share, but when will I ever have the time to invest time into this? I've learned that I need to just walk. God has put an enormous amount of dreams in my heart, but He is faithful to fulfill them all. I often ask: How can someone be a missionary to Africa, Asia, and everywhere and also be a wife, a mother, a musician, and live in an Amish community at one point, (don't worry I'm not planning to become Amish, only live amongst them for a time) and have a children's ministry and a deliverance ministry? It seems far fetched, right? But I know my God and I know that He will not put a dream in my heart if He didn't have every intention of making it happen. I may be 90 years old before some of these things happen, but I believe they will. Why? Because my God doesn't make mistakes and I believe He places dreams within us at the same time that He creates us. <br />
As time is winding down at Elim Bible Institute I'm realizing that I have to go out and live all this stuff that I've learned. I'm a different person. I don't say that lightly. I didn't just grow up. My whole life and everything about me is different. I am more confident, I am living with Jesus in a way I could never imagine, and I am filled to overflowing with all the goodness of Christ. God keeps telling me it's time for me to step out, but it's a scary thing. I've been forming in this safe cocoon for so long, but now it's time to fly. Who knows what I will encounter, but I know God has put everything inside me that I need. Elim is a safe place. It's a shielded environment to grow in. But eventually it's time to step out and shine the light. God places the light in the darkness. I have to accept the fact that I will go to dark places...places people my hate me for my testimony. What is the truth? I think I'd rather die living the dreams God has put in my heart and loving Him with all my heart, rather than live with no conviction and no love for my Jesus. I have nowhere else to run to. God has always been faithful to me and has always been there for me. I'd follow Him to the darkest place, not only because I love Him, but because I'd be lost if I stopped following Him. Fear is still real to me though. I doubt I'm strong enough to live in this dark world. I doubt I will have the courage to stand up for what is right, and I doubt I'll have the guts to walk into an African village and let them hear the message of Jesus for the very first time. I have GOT to believe, though, that God will give me what I need when I need it. I've got to believe that He is my security. He's never let me down before, so why would He start now?Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-51275387118811632802013-11-12T13:54:00.000-08:002013-11-12T13:54:46.894-08:00It's Okay to Have NothingThis semester has been the most difficult semester so far as far as managing my time. I've felt overwhelmed and completely helpless at times. Quite often I've felt like a terrible student, a terrible friend, a terrible Christian and a terrible RA (resident adviser. I am a leader of 5 girls in my building). It's been such a struggle to just get through a week at times. God has been teaching me a lot during this season of stress. It's okay to have nothing to give. Quite often I've had nothing to give to others or to God. This past week especially, I felt like I had nothing to give, but everything was due and I was leading worship at chapel one day and I was going somewhere that weekend to preach to a youth group. I kept asking God to help me to accomplish all I needed to. He did, but not in the way I expected.<br />
You see, something else God has been teaching me is how to be positive and how to counteract the negativity in myself and in others. I've begun to realize when I am negative or when I take on the negativity of others, I'm exhausted. It takes energy to be negative! But when I am positive, it surprisingly the opposite! It gives me the energy to keep going even when I think I can't. When people would ask me how my week was going I found myself saying, "I'm really stressed, but I know that God is going to come through for me in my weakest moments. Everything is going to be okay!" Wow! God is doing something deep in my heart. I normally would be freaking out, but instead I was declaring the truth of God. This one point last week I was going to a prayer meeting and I asked God if it was okay if they didn't ask me to lead worship that night. I had nothing to give. I was exhausted. It was as if this little voice said to me, "But when you have nothing to give, that's when I move." Sure enough, I arrived and I was asked to lead worship. I wasn't too nervous because I knew the pressure wasn't on me. I just needed to be a willing vessel that God could work through.<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-clwYrDQrysM/UoKid81mPgI/AAAAAAAAAE4/9TUx9NzWyDs/s1600/282.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-clwYrDQrysM/UoKid81mPgI/AAAAAAAAAE4/9TUx9NzWyDs/s320/282.JPG" width="320" /></a>Towards the end of the week, I realized I had to preach soon. I was so nervous, but I kept giving it to God. I heard that a lot of the youth were exchange students from China. This made me excited, but even more nervous. Would they understand what I was saying? When I got there people were telling me a lot of them barely spoke English and that I need to use simple words and talk slowly. I became more nervous. My boyfriend reminded me of the passage I was preaching from. Romans 8:1-9 talks about living in the spirit verses living in the flesh. I got his point. I needed to not rely on my own strength, but trust that the Spirit would work through me. I needed to trust that when I am weak, He is strong. I preached, and it went great! In the beginning they were not focused, but suddenly I had all their eyes on me, and I knew the Holy Spirit was speaking through me. Not only did this teach me to rely on the Spirit more, but it also prepared me for next year. I'm planning on going to China next year. I love the irony. God really knows what He is doing! <br />
So this is an encouragement to you no matter where you are in life. Rely on God. It's okay if you have nothing to offer. He likes that. He likes taking nothing and making something! If I recall correctly, we are made from dirt. So how much more can He use a child who has nothing but himself to offer? Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-19916793579148548442013-08-25T12:47:00.001-07:002013-08-25T12:47:30.168-07:00It's Been Awhile...Hello all! It has been quite awhile since I've posted anything, but I'm hoping to write much more in the future! Since I've written last, I've gone to NYC to do ministry, I started a new relationship, finished my junior year in Bible College, gone to Peru for three weeks on a missions trip, worked with children at a Christian retreat for the summer, and became a Senior in Bible college! It has been quite the year of change and transitions, but I am excited about each and every change that has come into my life. God has been teaching me so much about being a leader and about overcoming my own fears and insecurities. It seems like when I step out of my comfort zone in one area, God brings me to a new level of discomfort. He never lets me get comfortable where I'm at. He is always pushing me to be the best I can be. I feel like I'm always being pushed outside my limits, but of course you can only become better if you are pushed beyond what you think you can do.<br />
This year at Bible College I am an RA, which basically means I'm to watch over a group of girls and we have small group meetings once a week. It's strange to think that I'm in this new place when I remember what it was like to come in as a freshman and meet my RA. I don't feel that old yet! I feel very incapable of this job, but with every other thing this year that I felt incapable of, God has helped me! He enabled me to be what I could never be without Him. Over and over this summer when I thought I couldn't do something, and God met me in my weakness.<br />
This past summer God really pushed me in my music. I go to a college where everyone seems to be musical, so I became very discouraged last year thinking God didn't want to use my music, but He wouldn't let me forget about it. I tried to give up at one point, but God wouldn't let me. This summer I was helping with worship team about twice a day, and God opened up doors for me in music. I started to believe I could lead worship and record music, just like I've wanted to do for so long. I was so encouraged this summer in my music. I actually got to record a song with a friend. I'm telling you this for two reasons: one, keep an eye out for my music that I might be posting on here eventually; and secondly, God will not let you forget your dreams. I love how God fought for the gifts and the dreams that He has put in my heart. He will do the same for you. Don't give up on the dreams that are in your heart. God loves to put dreams, crazy dreams in our hearts and then watch our amusement as He causes them to come to pass. Trust in Him and wait for Him to fulfill those dreams. He will, if He put those in your heart.<br />
I will post another blog again soon! :)Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-74802774956859522842012-10-03T13:30:00.000-07:002012-10-03T13:30:38.326-07:00She Pondered All These Things in Her Heart.My heart is so full after almost four weeks of NYSUM. God has done more in me I could ever imagine. It's funny because I'm not sure if I could sum up all He did in me. All I know is my heart feels different. I have this joy and peace in my heart telling me I am where I am supposed to be. I'm content, so content, and so in love with my Jesus. The city has captured my heart. I never though it would, but it has and does every day. I love the people here. I love the diversity, and the different churches. It's so beautiful to see so many different people live in the same place and do things differently. It's amazing to walk into a church that is a different culture and have them accept you as if you were like them. I feel like God has given me His heart for the people here. I see this beauty all around me and this overwhelming love for the people here. I may be a country girl, but my heart has been enlarged for the city. There's such beauty if you dare to look, if you allow God to open your eyes.<br />
These weeks have been hard for me, not so much in the ministries we do, but more so dealing with my own junk while I'm trying to minister. Up until this week I've been wrestling with God over some issues in my life. I've been seeking Him for clarification on many things having to do with my future. Up until this week, I've been seeking God for answers rather than seeking Him for Him. He spoke to me this week telling me that I had forgotten about Him. I was spending time with Him simply to understand more about my life. God has asked me to lay those things aside and just be with Him. It's all about Him anyways. Everything will fall into place in it's own time if God is the center. God has just been showing me that He is faithful. I don't need to worry about the outcome of situations because God is faithful. If I give it to Him, He can take care of it. It's all bigger than me anyways. Why would I think I could handle everything and figure it all out anyways? Today during worship time I was telling God that I surrendered these things to Him and almost in the same breathe I felt this sadness come over me. I said, "But God, this situation is so important to me!" Almost before I finished my sentence I felt God embrace me in His arms and I heard Him say, "I know. I will take care of it for you. You can trust me. Put it in my care." It's like the verse that says, "Cast your cares on the Lord for He cares for you." He is more faithful with our situations than we are. <br />
Another thing God has shown me this trip is that I am a perfectionist, but it's okay to be imperfect. I try so hard to deal with my issues in just the right way. The truth is, we learn as we go. God shapes us through situations that we succeed and fail in. One night in my journal God said to me, "How can I form something that is already formed? How can I perfect something that is already perfect? You are the clay and I am the Potter. I love being a Potter. I smooth your rough edges as time goes on. I don't remove the rough edges, rather I smooth them. So don't get rid of your imperfections, because you might be getting rid of something that I desire to smooth out. Why do you try to be a finished pot of fine china? You are only clay. Let me form you day by day. You aren't finished yet."<br />
As humans we have a tendency to try to be a finished project. God isn't finished with us yet. Why do we feel like we have to be perfect? It's so far from reality. Why don't we just accept our imperfections and let God shape and form them to be all He wants them to be? That's all God asks of us: stop trying to be perfect and just accept the fact that you are clay. One day you will be finished, but you can't be finished unless you allow yourself to be formed.<br />
What a good God I serve! I can't grasp all He has for me, but I just am loving life right now! My heart is pondering so many things in my life and the purpose of them. God is so faithful. How could I not trust His divine hand on my life? He has never forsaken me. He has guarded my life. He has showered me with His love, guidance and blessings. All I want to do is share His love with others. He is the answer to everything. He has given me such peace. What joy I have in my heart! I'm so excited to see all He has for me and how He works things out. <br />
I do have lots of stories about encounters with people but I'm not sure I'm up to sharing all that right now. Next time! Blessings!<br />
<br />Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-20960073416136627572012-09-18T15:34:00.000-07:002012-09-18T15:34:40.845-07:00First Week Down, Four and One-half More to Go!<br />
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Well, my first week of NYSUM was pretty good. We are very busy, but that was to be expected. The funny thing about New York City is that there are parts of it that are just beautiful. Before I came I was expecting to not like the city. I'm definitely a country girl. I feel close to God in nature, around God's creation. The beginning of this week we had some seminars, and one thing a man said was that those of us from the country tend to forget that people are God's creation too. That hit me hard. God cares a lot more for His people than He does for His countryside. Perhaps my priorities are a bit distorted.<br />
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I think when I decided I liked the city was when I rode the Staten Island Ferry for the first time at night. Not to be a total hopeless romantic, but it was one of the most romantic sights I have ever seen! This picture doesn't do it justice at all. I was just overwhelmed by the lights on the water. I've never seen anything like it. I suppose I never thought something man made could be so amazingly beautiful. I'm reminded, however, that God created the creativity of man as well. How beautiful is that?<br />
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We also did prayer ministry in Central park. We set up a booth and prayed for whoever needed it. It was a great opportunity to reach into other people's lives. I also just enjoyed how artsy Central Park is. There were so many people playing music and it just gave the atmosphere even more beauty to it. Being a country girl, I wasn't expecting much for a park in the middle of a big city. "What do they know of parks," I thought. However, what a beautiful sight it was. It wasn't like a park in the country, it had it's own originality. It's funny how God can teach you things through landmarks. I felt like I was taking a big piece of humble pie.<br />
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There's definitely been some hard times here as I am learning to let God clean me out. I can't quite explain it, but it's like God is opening up my heart and taking all the junk out, but in the mean time I feel quite awful. My emotions are everywhere. I'm either laughing or crying it seems. I think God is allowing me to just pour out all that's in me that needs to come out, whether it's through tears or laughter. It's rather hard though because people I'm used to talking to are not here to talk to, so I'm forced to rely on different people and God more. It's good, but very painful at times. There's been times that the only person I want to vent to isn't there to vent to, so I have to go elsewhere. God is showing me how much I rely on certain people more than others. I need to rely on Him most of all. Why is it so hard to rely on Him at times? I've realized it's because from the beginning of our lives, everything has been about what we can see, feel, taste, smell and hear. We can't usually do any of those things with God. God may be more faithful than anyone else, but in order for us to totally trust Him, He's gotta work all of that stuff out of us. It's been hammered into us from children, until now, and God has to undo a lot of that. I want to trust God so much, but there's so many things that I am holding onto. There's so many things I want an answer or a reason for, but God just says, "Trust Me." Sometimes God sounds like a broken record to me, but that's probably only because I haven't gotten the message yet.<br />
As I've spent more time here, I've realized how important my personal time with God is. I crave it. Those times when I'm surrounded by people and I'm annoyed and I want to cry and I can't get away, I long for God's presence. I long to just be with Him. You don't realize how good that time really is until you can't have it whenever you want to. I do make time for God everyday, but with all this stress and teamwork, it doesn't always feel like enough. There's many times I just want to hide away from everyone else and just be with God. He is enough, and I am learning that. I don't need anyone but Him. I'm sure as these weeks go by swiftly, I'll be learning that lesson over and over again.<br />
Whoever is reading this, your prayers would be appreciated for us here in the big city. We will be doing a lot of ministry in the upcoming four weeks. Until next time! Blessings!Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-31773297286410248832012-09-11T10:12:00.000-07:002012-09-11T10:22:13.229-07:00NYSUM...The Excitement and the Dread.I'm here on my internship at NYSUM. It's in NYC and my team and I will do ministry in the city for about five weeks. The number one theme is flexibility. This is a hard one for me. I like to have a plan and stick to it. I hate it when things don't go as planned, but I need to realize that everything is in God's plan. As we do ministry we may be asked to do things on the spot, for example, preach on the subway, or lead worship or do skits, ect. This is so difficult for me, but I am confident God will address a lot of fear I deal with.<br />
NYSUM is scary to me for many reasons. I am scared of speaking in front of people. I desire to do it, but I'm scared to actually step out in it. I want to share the love of Christ, but there's this fear in me that freezes me. I was honest with God yesterday as I arrived in NYC. I told Him that I wanted to be willing to do anything. But I also told Him I couldn't promise Him I could always follow through. I couldn't promise Him that I wouldn't shrink back in fear at times, but I would try to follow through. My heart's desire is to be fearless and unashamed of the Gospel, but I'm not there yet in all honesty. My knees knock and my heart faints when I think of sharing the Gospel with others. I'm scared even to be in the city. I'm a country girl. I don't feel like I belong here, yet here I am. I feel like I could drown in such a huge city. My comfort zone is in my field with my guitar. This is another world to me, yet God has put me here. It's so unreal. I can't wait to see what He does in me and in those around me. I can't wait to see how I will be used by God.<br />
Another reason NYSUM is hard for me is because during this time I'm letting go of some hopes and dreams, hoping I will get them back, but not having a promise that I will. It's very scary to place something in God's hands not knowing if you will get it back, but that's what God has asked me to do. God is teaching me to rely fully on Him and no one else. As hard as this is, there is peace in the midst of it. I don't know what my time here holds for me, but I know that God has me in His hands. He's been so faithful to show me that. <br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zewpWh7rJO8/UE9yvem3CQI/AAAAAAAAADE/gA5fgn-ymJc/s1600/001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zewpWh7rJO8/UE9yvem3CQI/AAAAAAAAADE/gA5fgn-ymJc/s320/001.JPG" width="320" /></a>So the first experience I had in the city was this morning on a rooftop. Me and one other person on my team was asked to lead in worship on the rooftop as we prayed for the victims of 9-11. Up there we could see the whole city. It was beautiful. We interceded and worshiped over the city. It was just amazing to be there singing to God. I may never get to do anything like that again, so it was very special. I've posted some pictures of the view.<br />
I do not have a lot of time, so this is a short one. However, keep me and my class in prayer, as I'm sure there will be warfare against us as we minister to dark places. Pray for unity and focus for all of us. Blessings to you! Thank you for reading. Hopefully I will be able to write again soon. <br />
<br />Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-43817460299320276452012-08-05T13:51:00.000-07:002012-08-07T15:58:46.953-07:00Old Dreams RememberedI haven't written in awhile, mostly because I haven't had anything worthwhile to say. I've been in a discouraged gloom lately which God has been working me through. It's like since I left Elim my heart has become cold to the things of God. I wasn't sure why. It's not like I ever wanted it that way. What I've begun to realize is that God is pulling away from me that I might draw near to Him. He's showing me that if I really want to do this thing, if I really want to make a difference, I need to be committed to it. God needs to be my first thought when I wake up in the morning. He needs to be my driving passion. His love and passion need to be the center of who I am and the reason I do everything. It can't be unless I learn to run after God even when He seems far away. God can not entrust us with greater anointing or greater tasks until He sees that we are committed.<br />
These past few months I've felt like God has forgotten His promises to me. I also felt like I failed Him and that I was doing something wrong. The things He promised me seemed forgotten. He gave me all these promises that He wanted to use me to make a difference, but here I was with no visible fruit in my life. I finally got honest with God. Did you know that God wants us to be honest with Him whether we have a good attitude or not? He already knows what is going on. So many times we walk around saying that God is good and that we are doing great when on the inside we are screaming, "I can't do this anymore! I can't pretend that I'm satisfied! God, where are you and what are you doing? I'm done being fake! I'm angry, I'm upset and I'm hurt and confused!" God already knows our hearts, but He wants us to know what is going on too. Sometimes we don't understand what is going on inside us until we vent it out to God. This is what happened to me last week. I told God that I felt like He forgot me. It's funny how very often when we are honest with God, He speaks to us powerfully or at least finally addresses the issue. All weekend I've been going to these meetings with worship leader/speaker Roy Fields and his wife. God is definitely with their ministry and it's clear they are after the heart of God. God spoke to me so clearly last night and just removed all my discouragement. I heard Him say in my spirit, "I have NOT forgotten you!" It was so powerful. I'm starting to remember the dreams He gave me a long time ago. The dreams that I had forgotten because they seemed so far away and so unrealistic. I feel so incapable of living up to those dreams. But God confirmed to me last night that He is making me ready for these things and that these dreams are from Him. He puts dreams in our hearts. He puts BIG dreams in our hearts so that we cannot accomplish them without Him.<br />
Something else God has spoken to me this weekend is that my music needs to be about Him. I've realized that when I lead worship I focus so much on my voice sounding good that I forget who I am singing to. When I lead worship or sing I want to make God famous. I don't want to just sing songs... I want His power and anointing to change lives through my voice. I no longer want the credit given to me. Instead of people complimenting my voice, I want people to tell me that God touched them powerfully in worship. I don't want to play these games anymore. I want to be where God wants me. I don't want to push myself to be anywhere unless God says that's where He wants to use me. Enough of my own agenda! It never works anyways. I want to be used by God powerfully and I want to know His heart. I want to go where I am put by Him.<br />
I'm remembering that God is all that matters. I'm once again so hungry to know Him and to be touched once again by Him. One touch from Him will change you forever. Once you are touched by Him you realize that He is so wonderful. Nothing will ever satisfy you again but Him, because nothing compares with Him. No one else holds a candle to Him. He is so beautiful and marvelous. Why do we run elsewhere when He is everything we need? I want people to see Jesus in everything I do. I don't want to hold anything back from God anymore. His way is best and it always will be.<br />
If you are feeling discouraged like God can never use you, I believe that God would say to you, "Watch me!" Surrender yourself to His will and His plan. See what He does! What do you have to lose? You are discouraged and depressed, you can only go up! Let Him show His glory through you! If you thought you were capable, God couldn't show His glory through you as much. He wants all the credit. Just remember, the pressure is all on God, not you. He will come through for you!Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-9228292683526279542012-07-07T09:30:00.001-07:002012-07-07T09:30:42.963-07:00New and Old.It's been so long since there has been a rainy day here. I'm sitting in my room with my fan on with the smell of rain sweeping into my window. My poetic mind is reminded that even in the times of life when it rains and you can't see the sun, there is always an aroma of God's grace there, we just have to look for it. I've been in a time of swiftly moving forward in my life, but yet trying to not forget memories, even the ones that hurt me. As I was talking to a friend last night about my past, I realized that it's hard for me to connect with my past. I don't know who I was back then. It's not always easy for me to look back and smile, simply because I don't know that girl anymore. I was living in hurt for so long and I finally feel so happy. So what do I make of the memories of the old me? What do I do with them? I could let them control who I am today. I've done that for awhile. It's been hard for me to let anyone get close to me because I'm so scared of losing them. The truth is is that God brings people into our lives to love. He brings friends into our lives for a reason. Instead of dwelling on the hurt of friendships or relationships not working out, it's good to be grateful that we've had those times. God is bringing to me a place where I can realize that I have a blessed life. I'm blessed to have been a part of peoples lives even if I am not now. I'm also realizing that I don't need to be scared to let new friends be close to me. Even if I lose them one day, I can look back and smile on the fond memories we have together. Through all the hurt and pain, I can finally look back and see God's blueprint on my life. I don't understand everything, but I know that I am a better person today because of all the people God put in my life and all the hurt that I went through. The truth is, you can't love anything or anyone without being hurt. People are imperfect and we all hurt each other. Loving is a risk. I love what C.S. Lewis said, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will
be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it
intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully
round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock
it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that
casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be
broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love
is to be vulnerable.”
―
<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1069006.C_S_Lewis">C.S. Lewis</a>,
<i>
<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/14816053">The Four Loves </a></i><br />
When we open our hearts up to love, we are opening ourselves up to hurt. But we can't just live in a coffin and ever expect to truly be happy. Relationships with God and others is what makes life meaningful. It's not success or hobbies or money or talent, or romance... it's the relationships -- the ones that are fulfilling and the ones that break your heart. <br />
I'm learning a lot about who I am. There is no reason I should change who I am for anybody. This is definitely a work in progress for me, because I always have wanted people to like me. I love people and I want them to love me back, but unfortunately that can't always be the case. I'm slowly beginning to know who I am and be comfortable with that. The truth is, I am a Jesus loving, curly-haired, strong-willed goofy, hyper, sometimes shy, weirdo...and that is okay. I have my issues, but we all do. Why do we try so hard to be perfect? We aren't. God knows we aren't. If we have given Him control of our lives we are under His grace. We should want to be like Him, but when we fall short (and we will everyday) it is okay. He knows we are only dust.<br />
This summer is taking a crazy turn. I was rather annoyed at God that I was not going to Africa this summer yet again. Then I thought maybe He wanted me to go to Florida to see my family instead. When that didn't work out either I was like, "God, what the heck? I thought you had an adventure this summer? I feel like I have nothing to look forward to." I started to accept the fact that I was just going to work this summer and I felt peace about it. I really wanted to use my gifts for ministry or something. Then I thought maybe God just wanted to use me at work, which I think He is. He's given me such a love for the people there. I'm excited to get to know everyone more. But I wanted more for this summer. I wanted to do something even more exciting. Well, God provided. He swung a door wide open for me. I will not be specific yet because I don't find it necessary, but God is definitely making this summer way more exciting than I expected! God is so faithful to blow my expectations. I'm still so amazed at what He is doing in my family and in my life! What a blessing I am living right now! I thought I was going to miss Elim like crazy, but the truth is, I miss everyone, but I'm so excited about what God is doing now I'm in no hurry to get back. I'm content.<br />
Well, I will hopefully find time to write again soon. Blessings to you all!<br />
<br />Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-80828731517520420252012-06-14T18:28:00.001-07:002012-06-14T18:28:47.092-07:00Beautiful People... Beautiful Uncertainty.God is so faithful. I got a great job that just landed in my lap. The people are great, and it pays pretty good. I had to get used to the idea of going to work everyday, seeing as how I became used to owning my own time. I received a pretty quick wake up call from real life. After the shock of it, I learned to accept the fact that I am an adult and I'm growing up. However, I will never allow myself to lose the simplicity and playfulness of a child. That's not something I ever want to part with, even when I'm old and grey with arthritis and no hearing.<br />
Making time for God has been a struggle these past few weeks, although He's never far from my thoughts. I'm constantly asking Him to use me in the lives of those around me. I haven't told many of my co-workers, but I've grown to like them very much in just these few short weeks. I pray for them often and think of them often. Their personalities and interests are so different, but yet so beautiful. The more people I get to know, the more I learn to love the differences in everyone. It's amazing just how unique everyone is. God has been filling me with love for people to an extent I don't always understand or know how to express. I just feel like I'm overflowing sometimes and I want to pour God's love out on somehow. It sounds strange when I say it, but it's true. I just want people to know how beautiful their uniqueness is and that God made them that way. So few people know this. They feel the need to be like everyone else, not realizing they are compromising something very special Christ put in them: uniqueness. It's better for people to love you as you rather than love you for who you are pretending to be. As you read this you might be in the same place as I was at one point. I didn't know who I was, so I couldn't be me. God created you so He knows who you were meant to be. Ask Him to show you, and He will.<br />
My life seems to be full of uncertainty right now. It's so easy to want to fight it and figure things out, but that would mess up God's lesson in the uncertainty. There have been some things that have consumed my thoughts so much that I've felt bad. I've said, "God, I'm so sorry You're not what is consuming my thoughts! I can't seem to focus." I just hear His still small whisper say, "My Kelsey, don't feel guilty for a lesson I am teaching you now." God knows our hearts and our struggles and wants to walk us through them. There's a few potential opportunities in my life now, but I don't know what God's will is for them. I want to record a cd, and I think it will happen but I don't know when or how. I feel God calling me to Africa, and I think it's for next summer, but I'm not totally sure. I have so many desires and passions rolling around in me, and I have no clue how they are going to fall into place. At first it drove me crazy. Now, I'm at peace. I'm sure at times I will become anxious again, but I'm slowly learning to embrace the uncertainty. I know that God's way is best. He's proven it to me again and again. I know that God sees the desires of my heart. He knows what I'm created for better than I do. I can trust my future with Him. Though my life is so uncertain right now, I know who is the author of my story and I know He delights in happy endings. I'll write again soon!Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-49337694181681843572012-05-29T10:22:00.000-07:002012-05-29T10:22:05.378-07:00Memories, Good and Bad.I've decided I'm going to write more, if my schedule allows. I feel like I have so much inside of me that needs to be typed on sometimes. I might as well use my blog to do it. Maybe someone else can benefit from my ponderings other than myself.<br />
As I've been home I've come to love it here once again. The atmosphere is so different than at Elim. It's not as sheltered or as safe, however it's the real world. I've been doing a lot of thinking. I'm by myself a lot and my mind gets wandering sometimes. I love my home, and I'm grateful for the beautiful countryside I live in. Before last February I was unable to really appreciate it here. Going home flooded me with memories I would have rather forgotten. It reminds me of my high school years. My high school years were very different, although not that long ago. It's only been a little over a year. Whenever I think back to high school, it makes me sad. The majority of what I can see is broken relationships, broken friendships, and broken hearts. Now don't get me wrong, compared to most people, I had it made. I have just lost many of my friends I thought I would always have. I suppose it hurts to know that they are moving on, experiencing a new life, and have forgotten about me. I'm not saying this for some sort of pity party. I find it interesting. Even though I've experienced much hurt the past few years, I can look back and see God's hand in it. I do not have an answer to every trial or every broken heart I've had myself or have caused, but I know that God taught me things. He matured me. He has shown me that people let you down, and we let people down, yet He is always there and will never leave. He's not about to give up on us or walk away from us because we've hurt Him. He's faithful to us. He never takes the side of the accuser, He always takes our side. I think before I went to Elim I did not realize how much I've learned the past few years through hard times. Some of my friends would experience hard things and I suddenly knew exactly what to say. I found myself thinking, "Wow, God! I didn't know that wisdom was in there!" If you stay close to God, it's when you are kicked around, hurt, rejected, confused and lonely when you grow and learn the most! It's NOT all for nothing. That has been a lie I've believed. I was convinced my high school years were a waste. "I could have gotten my GED and left high school early," I thought. But no, it was not God's plan. He knew I would be leaving prematurely. There were still lessons to be learned. If I was never hurt, I would have never learned how to let Him heal me. More importantly, if I was never hurt, I never would be able to understand the hurts of others. I truly believe God is training to me to minister to broken hearts. I know others have experienced worse than I, much worse. I still know what a broken heart is, even if not to its greatest extent. I've learned to think that if what I've been through hurt that bad, how much worse does it feel for someone who has been through worse? My heart breaks for those who hurt. I wish I could help the mom sobbing wishing her baby to come home knowing he never will, or the wife who realizes her husband will never return from war. I know I can't, but my God can. He was there for me in smaller hurts than this, He will be faithful to be there for those suffering intense pain.<br />
So when you are feeling like your sufferings and hurts have no purpose, please just remember that God will work it out for good if you let Him. You can fight Him, but He wants to give you a good life. He wants to use you. Don't even feel like what you're going through is for nothing. It may seem pointless, but with God, there is always a point to everything. Let Him lead you.<br />
This post seems rather chaotic and random, but I hope someone receives from this. Thanks for reading!<br />
<br />Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-31989850110609300412012-05-22T10:41:00.000-07:002012-05-22T10:41:04.947-07:00Crippling FearMy first year of college is finished! It's crazy how time flies, but at the same time it feels like this past year has been five years because of all that I learned and how much I've grown. It was hard to leave Elim. Even though it is just for the summer, it's hard to leave such a strong healthy community like that. You quickly become so entwined with one another's lives. It's also such a protected environment spiritually and emotionally. It's easy to live for God there. It's easy to feel safe and accepted more than any other place I've been. I don't think I realized just how different Elim was from home until I got home.<br />
I was expecting to be spiritually attacked when I got home, because it normally happens. I wasn't expecting it to come in the way it did though. Usually I get hit with depression and gloom. I was determined not to let that happen again. I prayed often God would give me strength in that area. My attack didn't come is this way. It came in the area of fear...crippling fear. My first night home from Elim I began to feel very ill. I felt like the room was spinning, I became really hot and my heart started to pound. "Perhaps I didn't have enough protein," I thought to myself. So I began to eat nuts, but the feeling became worse and worse. "Am I having a heart attack," I thought. Surely I am to young for that. But as I thought about it I became fearful. I was afraid I needed to go to the hospital. I started to tremble all over. I must have scared my poor mother half to death! I asked her to pray with me. I couldn't seem to think straight. Everything was a blur and nothing made sense. I was trying to figure out if I needed to go to the hospital or if this was a spiritual attack. I asked God with the little strength I had to utter words. I began to realize it was a spiritual attack because every time my mom would touch my arm or say Jesus I started to shake more violently. I had no strength to do anything. I would try to worship or try to pray and shakes would overtake my body even more. "Oh God," I whispered, "I have no strength. Please help me. I can't do anything. Please help me." Whenever I would think it was starting to subside, it came back full force again. I listened for God's voice and heard, "Kelsey, you are fine. Nothing is wrong with you. You're going to be fine. Satan wants you dead." I told my mom what I heard and we starting saying it out loud. Slowly, the shaking starting to stop. As truth was spoken, the lie began to die. The lie that I was going to die or that something was seriously wrong with me. I started to sing Jesus over and over. Then I started to sing "There is Power in the Name if Jesus." The shakes subsided completely. My mom and I breathed a sigh of relief. This may sound crazy, or impossible, or psychotic, but I've never had anything happen like this to me. Since then I've had about 3 incidents like this but much milder. It happened once in church while I was on worship team. I didn't shake but I had major anxiety. Same thing happened on the way to the doctors last week, and the last thing I wanted to share was what happened last night. Before I went to bed I was worshiping and spending time with God. I went to bed feeling so full of peace. I was asleep for about an hour and I woke up with thoughts like, "What if God isn't really real? Maybe this is all in my head. What if I died tonight? What would happen?" I was overwhelmed with fear. I cried out to God, "Show me you're here God. Show me it's not in my head." I'd try to relax but I couldn't. I once again listened for God's voice and I heard Him again. "You're safe, you're loved, you're accepted.You're safe, you're loved, you're accepted," I heard Him say over and over and over again. I slowly relaxed and fell asleep.<br />
You may think I'm a mental case now, and that's okay. I shared this that you might know how to battle with fear and doubt. I know God must be having me go through all this for some reason, and I'm sure He doesn't mind me sharing with you what I've learned from it all. When you are attacked, listen for the voice of peace. God is there speaking to you. Find His voice in your situation. Listen to what He says and declare it out loud. That's God speaking truth into your situation. He's there with you even when you feel overwhelmed and confused. He's there to be the voice of truth. Don't listen to the lies of the enemy. I'm certainly no expert, but I'm learning and so far this is the only thing that's been working. Maybe you aren't sure of God's voice. Maybe you doubt that you can hear Him. If you've accepted Christ, you can hear Him. It takes practice to recognize His voice. Start by reading your Bible. Read Jesus' words a lot. You can learn to recognize His voice by really getting His Word inside you. Read and meditate and memorize! Yes...memorize. That's one I have to work on. Also, journal. Write down what you think God is saying to you, even if you're not sure if it's Him. Practice makes perfect. God will show you if you're wrong. Obviously if it doesn't line up with Scripture it's not accurate. That's why learning the Word is important. But don't be so afraid to hear God wrong. You can't learn anything unless you're willing to make a mistake now and then. God's grace covers you. The truth is, you will hear wrong sometimes, but don't let that stop you from listening and stepping out on what He says. You'll learn quickly His voice. I'm simply sharing my heart and what God has taught me recently and within the past five years or so. He wants to speak to us and He is. Are you listening? He has so much to teach us! And we can only fight against the attacks of the enemy if we know His Word and know His voice. Knowing the Word without knowing His voice is not enough. You need to know His voice in order that He can speak into your specific situation. Knowing His voice without the Word is not enough. You are bound to get wrong ideas and not hear His voice accurately without the Word to guide you. I hope this is helpful to someone. God is the conqueror. In Him is victory. So don't fear if you feel like you're being kicked around by the enemy. So am I. And I can tell you God has something to impart to you and something to teach you in all of this.Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-85572074791924232312012-04-01T13:47:00.000-07:002012-04-01T13:47:18.248-07:00Where has Time Gone?Here I am at the end of the second semester and I can't believe it's gone by so fast, yet so slow at the same time. It seems like I've lived a whole new life here. It's probably because I have. I feel like a totally new person compared to who I was last year around this time. This year has been a healing process and a growing process. I finally feel free from my past, and everything that used to hold me down and come back to haunt me. God has finally showed me the purpose in it all...well most of it anyways. I've decided I really don't need to know absolutely everything. What would the fun be in that? God is showing me this semester that even if I don't know what's going on, He does and that's good enough.<br />
This semester has been harder than last for a few different reasons. I will not get into all the reasons, but let's just say it has been emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally draining. I've struggled all this semester with fear of not being in God's will. It really tormented me. I want so badly to do what is right to the point that my closest friends were telling me I was a perfectionist. I thought, "Me? A perfectionist? How can that be true?" My view of a perfectionist is someone who gets perfect grades and has a clean room and is organized. Well God showed me that's not always the case. I wanted to be perfect at being a Christian. I didn't want to ever offend anyone or ever hurt anyone or ever disobey God or ever cause anyone any grief. It was to the point that I had an emotional breakdown one day. Something happened that I won't get into, and I started to blame myself for it. Suddenly I found myself thinking hateful thoughts against myself. God showed me that when I put that much pressure on myself to be perfect, I'll start hating myself. Only He can clean me out and make me holy. I didn't even realize I was trying to fix myself. I realized that over the years people put pressure on me to be perfect. If people ever heard how at home I disobeyed my parents as a kid they would say things like, "Kelsey? Nooo....I can't believe Kelsey would do that." Because of this, I felt like people expected me to be perfect from a young age. The need to do everything right was planted so deep in my heart and God has been working that out of me. Yes, it's good to want to do things right, but only God can help us do things right. We can't rely on ourselves like I did. We'll end up worn out and full of self hatred. God showed me that if my heart was to do His will, I was already in His will. It's all about the heart with Him. He knows I want to follow Him. I can't miss His will because of this. There's still things he hasn't made clear to me as of now, but I'm hoping He will soon. Even if He doesn't, I'm content. He takes good care of me all the time.<br />
One thing I was praying about was going to Harvest School of Missions over this summer. It didn't end up working out for this summer, however I will be going next summer if I get accepted. Check it out if you'd like:<a href="http://www.irismin.org/missions/harvest%20"> http://www.irismin.org/missions/harvest </a>. It's in Mozambique and I would get the chance to work with orphans, to feed the hungry, to pray for the sick, and to evangelize to bush areas. I can't express to you how excited I am to do this! I have been praying for a while about going to Africa. I thought about going the Uganda Water Project or staying with a missionary in Rwanda, but in my spirit it wasn't connecting. I knew I was supposed to go to Africa, but my heart wasn't lining up with these previous trips. It didn't feel like it was what I was called to do. Then I started hearing about this school. Finally I looked it up and as I read about it I started to cry and was filled with joy. I immediately knew this was what was in my heart to do. I started praying about going this summer. I was thinking about going and in was like God's voice interrupted my thoughts and said, "Go!" However, the spots were full for this summer. So I'm sure I'm supposed to go next summer. Whoever is reading this, if you could keep me in your prayers as I start to fund raise this summer and prepare to go that would be great. I'm excited, but at the same time I'm terrified! I've never been overseas before. I know God is speaking to me about nations though. I never would have thought God would ask me of all people to go to a crazy adventure to Africa. <br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fbV73aP5Dgk/T3i9hys7KHI/AAAAAAAAABk/PKXRHPI8szw/s1600/007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fbV73aP5Dgk/T3i9hys7KHI/AAAAAAAAABk/PKXRHPI8szw/s320/007.jpg" width="320" /></a>As I've been thinking about this, I'm starting to think of other things God may ask me to do after Elim. I've grown to love and adore so many people here and the thought of us going are separate ways is heart-breaking. I can't imagine these people out of my life. They are my family as well as my immediate family. I feel like God never intended us to have to say goodbye. Once we're in heaven, we'll always be able to be together. It hurts so much to think of saying goodbye now though. I've felt my heart grow in love for so many people here. What's funny is most of them I thought unlikely to be close friends with. No particular reason, I just didn't see us as friends, but now I can't imagine my life without them. I love my Jesus and all the blessings He's given me. Some of them will be harder to let go of than others though. My friends will be hard to let go of...even for the summer. Seeing people every single day makes you close to them so fast. <br />
Well, hopefully I'll be writing again soon. Love and Prayers to you and your family!Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-6930653796262599072011-12-23T09:39:00.000-08:002011-12-23T09:39:51.652-08:00Thoughts from this Semester and What God is Showing Me<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-y_8eJSGKaJo/TvSs3Ij2jfI/AAAAAAAAABc/o7sqqnB50tA/s1600/100_0999.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-y_8eJSGKaJo/TvSs3Ij2jfI/AAAAAAAAABc/o7sqqnB50tA/s320/100_0999.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some more friends:)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Well, my first semester of Elim is over. What a wide ride it has been! I've learned so much socially, spiritually,emotionally and academically. I knew that Elim was going to be awesome, but I didn't realize how awesome. I'm not sure what I would do without my new friends. They are so awesome and the best part is, they love Jesus as much as I do. I've been home for exactly a week now, and as much as I love being home with my family and friends here, I miss my Elim friends like crazy. I owe them a world of thanks for being there for me when I needed them. I don't think they know just how much I need them.<br />
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<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xagWZgjPtzQ/TvSsn22UBXI/AAAAAAAAABQ/WqLM0Vx3KA0/s1600/100_0994.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xagWZgjPtzQ/TvSsn22UBXI/AAAAAAAAABQ/WqLM0Vx3KA0/s320/100_0994.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Roomie and I :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>It's funny how when I first went to Elim, I had a different set of desires for my life than I do now. Some desires are the same, but some have changed significantly. I've found myself praying things like, "God, sent me to the dangerous places, where no one else wants to go." Or, "God please don't keep me in the wealth of this country, send me somewhere where people are truly starving and helpless." My own prayers are curious to me. These desires are not me but Jesus living in me. He's been changing and forming my heart to His own. "A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh" (Ezekiel 36:26). I can't explain and I can't understand all that God is doing, but I know my hunger for Him is growing. He's putting a urgency in my spirit to draw near to Him and to lay aside all distractions. The distractions aren't worth it. Many churches I've been to I see God stirring people up. He's making the church ready for something, for something big. But as He does this, distractions are rising up everywhere. The enemy is not liking whatever God is doing. God has been showing me that's why we need to fight even harder to seek His face. We NEED to. It's not an option. If we want to know God's heart we need to seek Him. God's been showing me that none of my distractions are worth giving up intimacy with Him. No way. He's so much better, so much sweeter than anything else I've ever known. How can we let little distractions get in the way of such a big God who is longing to be with us? We should be longing to be with Him because of His awesomeness, and power and great love, yet it's reversed. God longs for us and we can't fit the God of the universe in our schedules. How wrong is that? I'm preaching to me more than anyone. It sickens me to think of how many times I push God aside because I have "better" things to do. WHAT??!! This is the GOD of the UNIVERSE we're talking about! If we had any clue how awesome He truly is and how wonderful He is, we wouldn't give our distractions a second thought. I think the problem is, we don't know Him. We don't know who He is, so therefore, we don't care to give Him the time of day. We say we know Him, but if we are not compelled to be in His presence, that's a lie. Anyone who knows God even a little is compelled to spend more and more time with Him. If we aren't compelled like this, God is simply an acquaintance, and a last resort. Have you ever thought about it that way? God has been showing me just how much I really don't know Him. He's been compelling me to make Him a priority. Let me tell ya, when you try to put Him above all else, all Hell breaks loose, but you NEED to stand strong and fight it. He is worth it. He says we are worth Him giving up everything...but do we think He is worth giving up everything? He's worth so much more than us. How could I forget that? How could we forget that? Are we so consumed with our wealth and events in this country that somehow they've taken God's place? He is a jealous God. He is jealous for our relationship, because we are rightfully His. The more time I spend with Him, the more I realize that this world and all it's treasures are nothing. There's nothing this world could give me to take His place. He is everything. He is everything I want and need, I just didn't know it. "O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water" (Psalm 63:1).<br />
In my Old Testament class I wrote my final paper on David: a man after God's own heart. I learned so much from this. I discovered what God means when he says someone is after His heart. As I studied David's life, I realized something: David's heart was not perfect, quite the opposite in fact. David wrote Psalm 51 after he was confronted about committing adultery with Bathsheba. After he committed adultery with her, God told him the child would die. Yet in this Psalm, we don't see David grieving the loss of his child, but rather grieving that he lost communion with God! What commitment and love! David remembers the days he used to live in God's presence and he grieves that he lost that. He pleads for those days back. He longs for God. He's also very honest with his weakness. All throughout this Psalm David pleads with God to create in him a pure heart, to sustain him so he can do right, and to uphold him. He knew that he wanted to please God, but he also knew he couldn't do that without God's help. He realized his need for God. David made mistakes, but his heart belonged to God all along. He loved God above all else. Even in the Old Testament, pleasing God wasn't about the works, or the sacrifices, it was about the heart. God still wanted a heart committed to Him, and a heart in love with Him. Studying the one God called a man after His own heart shows what is really important to God. But you know what amazes me even more than this? How much God honored David for his love for God. God promised David that his seed would reign forever from David's throne in Jerusalem. There are so many times in the Old Testament when God wants to destroy Israel because of their rebellion but He always says, "I won't because of the promise I made to David." God was so committed to His promise to David. God even goes beyond this. Not only does He promise David that the Messiah would come from his line, but when Jesus was on earth he quoted David's words. He quoted them his last few hours of life on this earth. He said, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" David said these very words is Psalm 22:1. And then later Jesus says, "Into Your hands I commit my spirit." Again He's quoting David in Psalm 31:5. So we see David is also a type of Christ. Can you imagine what an honor it is that Jesus quoted David with His last words? Don't you think that a person with a heart after God is precious to Him after knowing this? Look how far God goes to honor David! It blows my mind and I still can't wrap my mind around it. After writing this paper, my goal in life is to be someone after God's heart. I feel like my mind has been renewed and I'm realizing the most important thing in this world is that I truly know God.<br />
So, this blog couldn't contain all I learned this semester, but these are the highlights. I hope that whoever reads this has an amazing Christmas. Don't let it be about the gifts or the traditions, find Jesus in Christmas this year, and find His love. He loves you so much. Ask Him to show you...He will. Merry Christmas everyone!<br />
<br />
"The LORD is good to all; <br />
he has compassion on all he has made. <br />
All your works praise you, LORD; <br />
your faithful people extol you. <br />
<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-16332"></sup>They tell of the glory of your kingdom <br />
and speak of your might, <br />
<sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-16333"></sup>so that all people may know of your mighty acts <br />
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom. <br />
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, <br />
and your dominion endures through all generations. <br />
The LORD is trustworthy in all he promises <br />
and faithful in all he does" (Psalm 145:9-13).Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-62345431498680922782011-11-19T12:05:00.000-08:002011-11-19T12:05:39.100-08:00My Heart....it BurnsSo it's hard to believe this semester is almost over! It's been a wild ride to say the least. I don't even know where to start to be honest. God has turned my world upside down. I feel like all the things I used to associate myself with have been stripped away so that I don't recognize who I am anymore. The only thing I know is that I'm so swept away in who God is. He's showed me that His plan is way bigger than I could have imagined. I remember when it was hard to pray for an hour, but God has given me this passion so strongly that I crave Him like I crave food or water or sleep. It's so beyond what I understand, but I know that I wish I could just lock myself in a room with a piano and just play and sing to Him and never stop. What is this passion that I can't explain? It's so unreasonable, crazy, and radical, but I know it's what I was born for. I was born to adore Him. I'm realizing for the first time how reasons to adore Him are endless. I learn more every day of how worthy of adoration He is. His presence is all I want anymore. I'm tired of staying in the same old place. I want to be where God is. I know this is dangerous to say, but I want to go wherever He leads me. I know that He will be there with me. That's all that matters anymore. My prayer is that this passion can show in my lifestyle. I pray that I have the courage to go where everyone says is too dangerous or too crazy. I want to live the dangerous life for Him. I'm tired of fear holding me back. God is on my side. Is there anyone greater than Him? Is there anyone greater to fear than Him? What has held me back all these years? I'm determined to be different. I'm determined to be that Christian that's just a little too crazy, a little too radical, a little too passionate, and a little to disruptive. I want to be all this and more for the glory of God. I can't do this without Him. He's given me this passion, so I'm trusting He'll give me the boldness to carry this out. I can't hold this passion in anymore. It's seeping out all over the place when I worship. I can't get enough of Him, yet my heart burns so much in His presence, sometimes I feel like I could die, but I don't even care! As long as I'm with Him, nothing else matters. Nothing else matters but His presence and all He is. I long to know the mystery of Him. Even as I type this, my heart is burning. It's burning so strong. I don't know what He's doing inside me but it's crazy and so wonderful. I'm new. I'm new. He's made me whole. No longer am I living in hurt and pain. He's set me free. Yes, I'm still messed up in so many ways, but I'm satisfied to be messed up my whole life as long as God walks me through it all. I know in time, I'll be everything He created me to be. For now, I'm happy to spend my whole life in this crazy love story, just discovering who my Jesus is. Who is this wonderful being who makes my heart burn and my eyes overflow with tears? My eyes overflow with tears out of longing to be closer to Him. I feel as though I'm going crazy. If I'm crazy, this is glorious insanity. I'm so full of joy. I've discovered the meaning of life and I want to shout it from the rooftops. I'm so in love with Jesus! He has made me new. He has set me free. I love Him more than all others!<br />
So yeah things are going great! Oh and on a side note..I should say that God has given me some of the greatest friends here who also share in my love for Him. I am so blessed. I can't wait to make a difference in this world with God as my only source of help. Life is good, so good. :)Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-76088936954647027002011-09-25T16:52:00.000-07:002011-09-25T16:52:39.607-07:00What God SeesSo it's the end of week four at Elim! I can't believe I've been here that long already, but at the same time it seems like I've lived here my whole life. Everyone is so friendly and I feel like it's just a big family. I've made so many awesome friends who are as strange as me...which is a bonus for sure. Makes me feel somewhat normal. Well...maybe not normal. At least I feel like I fit in. I can't imagine not being with these awesome people. I've just grown to love them so much in such a short amount of time.<br />
God has been working in me a lot too. He doesn't waste any time, that's for sure. I'm starting to realize my identity has not been in Christ, but in other people's opinions of me. God is starting to show me that ONLY His opinion matters. I can't get fulfillment out of other's praises. God says I'm beautiful and I don't know why. He's starting to teach me what He sees. When God looks at us, He sees perfection because Christ as cleansed us from all imperfection. He sees the finished project, not the flaws or mistakes. I've been praying that God will show me what He sees as I look in the mirror, not what I see. All I can see is imperfection and flaws. I need to see myself how God does, otherwise I will find that approval elsewhere. Since I've been here, I have been seeking approval from others. I only end up disappointed, hurt, and rejected. Only when I look to God can I be fulfilled and satisfied with who He has made me to be, and only then can I stop being so wrapped up in myself and help others.<br />
I was in chapel last week and I was feeling so disappointed in myself. I just knew I didn't measure up to who I wanted to be or who God wanted me to be. I was broken. We sang this bridge in worship, "Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way." As we began to sing this to God, I had this vision of Jesus taking my hands in His and singing it to ME before I had a chance to sing it to Him. I was shocked. I was like, "No God, not me." But He kept singing it to me.<br />
Be encouraged, when God looks at you, He sees beauty, perfection, and His glory. He doesn't see your flaws. He sees who He made you to be. Being yourself is actually an act of worship, because you're being who He created you to be.Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-10753872325852189332011-09-05T09:02:00.000-07:002011-09-05T09:02:20.032-07:00I'm at the "Holy Hill" FINALLY!!!!After sixs years of dreaming about being here, I'm finally here at Elim Bible Institute. It all feels so unreal yet so unbelievably wonderful! It's better than I imagined and harder than I imagined. There's something so great about the atmosphere here. I feel so free to be me and I don't feel like I'll be judge for being my crazy, strange, and weird self. I don't think I've ever become so comfortable with people so fast. I just love it. Plus God is doing a lot of work in my heart already. We have this class called "Marriage and Family," and that class brings up most of the heart issues with me. I feel so unready for my future marriage. I realize that before I even consider dating anyone, I need to get some major issues of my heart healed and restored. I don't know what marriage means. I don't understand it. And quite frankly, relationships are so much more complicated and messy than I can deal with right now. So what I'm getting at is I've finally come to the realization of how needy I am and that my heart is in a pathetic place. God needs to be the only intimate romance I have for a long time...and somehow...I'm starting to be okay with that. I don't know how long a long time is, but however long it takes it's going to be alright with me. This place makes me so hungry for God and His Word. I've never wanted such a understanding of the Bible until now. I just want to understand everything and I want to know all I can about our amazing Creator! I also want every weight that has been holding me back from Him to fall off. I am ready to put away my personal agenda and seek His. All I want is all of Him!!! Anything God will let me learn and receive, I want to learn and receive. I love you Jesus!<br />
Oh and just to add some amazingness to the picture, there's some amazing musicians here, which is so cool. We all played together on Saturday and I was amazed but the talent these kids have. I hope I can learn from all of them and develop better musically. They all are amazing. <br />
So to sum it all up, I'm so happy and full of joy and I LOVE my new Elim family!Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-85386209958559745252011-07-12T16:20:00.000-07:002011-07-12T16:20:43.233-07:00Why Wish for Something Different? I was talking to an old friend the other night, and we were saying that both of us struggle with wanting something different than what we have all the time. For example, when you're home, wanting to be in school, but once you get to school, wanting to go back home. You get the picture. I think it's interesting that we seem to want to be everywhere EXCEPT where God has put us. It's sad really, because I've realized how much I've missed as I'm wanting to be elsewhere. I'm going off to Elim Bible Institute this fall, and in the beginning of this summer, I wanted summer to fly by so I could just get there. I felt so ready to be out of here. So ready to grow up and move on in life. But as I think about it now, it seems so silly. Life is so much sweeter when you savor every moment. Even the little things can be great things if I take time to notice them. Instead of looking ahead to my future all the time, I'm learning to just enjoy being who I am, where I am, right now. After all, God put me here. Doesn't that mean it's the best place for me and also the place I will be blessed the most? Why would I ever trade that? So as this summer is flying by, I'm learning to enjoy the little things. I'm realizing what beautiful place I live in, what a great family I have, what I great church I go to, and what great friends I have right where I am. There's no better place for me to be.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Kri1Epzhgq0/ThzUBq8DqVI/AAAAAAAAABA/HC76VFJuwmU/s1600/046.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Kri1Epzhgq0/ThzUBq8DqVI/AAAAAAAAABA/HC76VFJuwmU/s320/046.jpg" width="320" /></a> There's been so many "little" blessings this summer. It's funny how God cares about the little things. Lately I feel like He wants me to get involved in more hardcore outdoorsy things, like surfing, hiking, running, biking, and maybe some rock climbing. It just makes me smile that He wants me to do the things I enjoy, even if it seems unimportant to me. So as I've decided to pursue some of these things, my cousin (the one on the left in the picture) came to visit this weekend and brought me a brand new pair of running sneakers! Ironic? God never ceases to make me laugh or smile! Part of His little blessings was my cousin visiting me. It's so nice to have someone my age in the family who loves the Lord like I do. I feel like it gives me a boost spiritually. We just had such an amazing weekend together, and I feel like I learned a bit more about who God is through her. She also made me appreciate what I have here more. She kept saying how beautiful it is here. As she kept saying it I found myself thinking, "Wow, she's so right. I live in an amazing place!" Sometimes it's good to see things from a person on the outside looking in. We forget how much we have! I've added some pictures of places near me.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kxaCE5GMTHc/ThzUtT98NQI/AAAAAAAAABI/ZEiJ7pEohcQ/s1600/020.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kxaCE5GMTHc/ThzUtT98NQI/AAAAAAAAABI/ZEiJ7pEohcQ/s320/020.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NlscN6X1LAI/ThzULDNQssI/AAAAAAAAABE/5xW2GPqRuqE/s1600/043.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NlscN6X1LAI/ThzULDNQssI/AAAAAAAAABE/5xW2GPqRuqE/s320/043.jpg" width="320" /></a> I just encourage whoever may read this to not feel as though you're "waiting for life to begin." That's not how it should be. God puts us wherever we are for a reason and He has a plan for us there. Don't wish for something other than what God has given you. There's a reason He didn't give you what you want. Even if you have a hard time seeing His blessings, they are there. Ask Him to show Himself to you in the little things. He will. He is faithful. He also knows how important His encouragement is. Enjoy every moment. Savor it. Hold unto every moment and blessing as long as you can until it's time to let go of it. Take in as many blessings as you can in this life. There's no better place for you than where you are right now.Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-16005020517784079312011-07-06T18:47:00.000-07:002011-07-06T19:21:04.063-07:00Feeling Young Again.Hello again! So I decided to share what's been happening in my life lately. For those of you who don't know, about three months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. Not because he was a bad boyfriend, but simply because God was calling us in different directions. This has probably been the most hard, painful, confusing, wonderful, exciting time of my life. At first it was difficult, but God was faithful to surround me with friends who were there when I needed them. It seemed like God was taking care of everything and I finally felt as though I was moving on. It was still hard at times of course because not only was my boyfriend a great boyfriend, he has become one of the best friends I ever had. So not being able to talk to him was, at times, very painful. But still, everything was going the way I expected it to. I was soaring in my relationship with God, I had made a ton of new friends, and life was good. Then God threw me for a loop I was not expecting. My ex boyfriend and a close friend of mine starting dating. Let me say first of all that my friend had been talking to me about this for awhile and was very sensitive and loving through it all. I don't want anyone thinking I have a jerky friend cause it's not true at all. Anyways...letting go of him as a boyfriend was one thing, but realizing he was with someone I knew was quite another. I struggled with anger and hurt and it just wasn't a good time. As I talked to God about it, I realized that He was allowing this. I was angry at Him that He was, but He was! I couldn't believe that God would ask me to let go of someone I cared so much about, and then expect me to watch him with my friend and be okay with it. As I prayed and prayed about this, God showed me that if I had an issue with this, I hadn't truly let go. I hadn't totally given Him the situation. And I also realized my friend was extremely sensitive and careful around me about mentioning it. I'm so grateful to her. She has been so sensitive to put herself in my shoes and make sure she's not hurting me. God had blessed me with a great friend and I realized it wasn't worth it to be angry. I had no right to be angry. I let him go. I gave the situation to God. I also realized I hadn't forgiven myself for hurting the him. Even though I did the right thing, I held myself accountable for all the hurt I caused him. I knew that I crushed him, and there's nothing worse than knowing you can't comfort someone you love because you're the one who hurt him. So recently I have given all this to God and I've had such a freedom! I feel like a child again. I don't care what anyone thinks and I'm so happy being single right now. Sure, I want to be pursued every now and then, but God is teaching me to let Him be the pursuer. I'm learning to love God in a whole new way. It's crazy how different I am now. I really feel like a little kid again. I just feel like I can run and play and sing and dance and not care what anyone thinks. I'm no longer trying to impress anyone because my future husband is going to love who I am and will think I'm the most beautiful thing even if my hair is all messy and I have dirt on my feet and I'm not wearing makeup. I want him to love me just as I am, and I'm not going to settle for someone who wants to change me. Thinking like this is so so soooo freeing. If there are any girls reading this, please know that if you have to change yourself for a guy to love you or approve of you, he's not the right one for you. God matches us perfectly, and a relationship shouldn't be a constant uphill battle. This is probably one of the biggest lessons I've learned through all of this. If you're dating someone and you're both pulling at each other constantly, and have to fight to keep the relationship alive, it's most likely not meant to be. Maybe I'm wrong, but if you're in God's will, it shouldn't feel like you're straining all the time. God says "My yoke is easy and My burden is light." That doesn't mean there won't be hard times, but there should be rest in the midst of it all. I have found that rest. I'm sure I'm going to get hit with really really hard times, but as long as God is my refuge, I know I'll be just fine....no...more than fine. My life is an adventure and I can't wait to see what's around the next bend. I can't wait to see what God has in store. I know that it's gonna be wild. I'm just so happy with life right now. Just know that whatever you're going through, God can and will work it out for good if you give it to Him.Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7469069131221493064.post-21847175296094044862011-07-02T06:03:00.000-07:002011-07-02T06:03:02.662-07:00To Blog or Not to BlogSo I don't have that much time this morning and I was going to hold off on writing my first blog, but I was a little over anxious. I'm not quite sure if I have much to share with you. I really hope that this new blog is not boring or dull in any way. I wanted a place I could share my adventures with God with other people. I feel like He has taught me a lot over the years, and I would like to share it with you. <br />
I should probably tell you a bit about myself before I share anything else. I'm Kelsey. Over the years I've fallen more in love with God every day. He has been the closest friend to me when I felt I had none. He has saved me from so much fear and anxiety and worry. There is no one I love more. I feel a call on my heart to go into ministry. I believe worship leading is one ministry, but I also know I have a heart for the nations and for street evangelism. For a very long time God has stirred a desire in my heart not to be like a "normal" Christian, but a fool for Christ. I don't want to just be known for being a really nice person, I want to be known for not caring what anyone thinks, except God. I want to be radical, and I hope everyday I am getting closer to that. It is hard for me because I am unsure of myself and I'm shy and quite often socially awkward, but one thing I'm sure of more every day is the strength Christ holds within me. I think even though I'm a small, insignificant person, God can use me, and all of us. I can make a difference. I'm just learning how to. <br />
So I am hoping to share with you my experiences, my failures and my growing experience with God, and I hope and pray that it can be an encouragement to you. I will post again soon. Sorry this is so short. Thank you for reading!Kelsey Gallagherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02015827782982740035noreply@blogger.com0