Monday, September 5, 2011

I'm at the "Holy Hill" FINALLY!!!!

After sixs years of dreaming about being here, I'm finally here at Elim Bible Institute.  It all feels so unreal yet so unbelievably wonderful!  It's better than I imagined and harder than I imagined.  There's something so great about the atmosphere here.  I feel so free to be me and I don't feel like I'll be judge for being my crazy, strange, and weird self.  I don't think I've ever become so comfortable with people so fast.  I just love it.  Plus God is doing a lot of work in my heart already.  We have this class called "Marriage and Family," and that class brings up most of the heart issues with me.  I feel so unready for my future marriage.  I realize that before I even consider dating anyone, I need to get some major issues of my heart healed and restored.  I don't know what marriage means.  I don't understand it.  And quite frankly, relationships are so much more complicated and messy than I can deal with right now.  So what I'm getting at is I've finally come to the realization of how needy I am and that my heart is in a pathetic place.  God needs to be the only intimate romance I have for a long time...and somehow...I'm starting to be okay with that.  I don't know how long a long time is, but however long it takes it's going to be alright with me.  This place makes me so hungry for God and His Word.  I've never wanted such a understanding of the Bible until now.  I just want to understand everything and I want to know all I can about our amazing Creator!  I also want every weight that has been holding me back from Him to fall off.  I am ready to put away my personal agenda and seek His.  All I want is all of Him!!!  Anything God will let me learn and receive, I want to learn and receive.  I love you Jesus!
Oh and just to add some amazingness to the picture, there's some amazing musicians here, which is so cool.  We all played together on Saturday and I was amazed but the talent these kids have.  I hope I can learn from all of them and develop better musically.  They all are amazing. 
So to sum it all up, I'm so happy and full of joy and I LOVE my new Elim family!

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